This is Avishek , I am 25 yrs old am from Bangalore, India. I am here to share some of my life experience.
Life was kind till February 2013.I was a “happy to go lucky guy” with “normal” wishes, “normal” job, “normal” family, “normal” hobby (I used to draw).
February 2013 I had a major bike accident in which my right hand was affected very badly. All the bones, nerves and 70% of the muscles were injured and crashed. It was so dangerous that doctors couldn’t find the nerves in the first operation. They had to do 3 operations to fix my bones with metal plates and screws and to replace the nerves as well. To save my hand this was necessary but , work ability and progress were not guaranteed. It was a permanent disability, I would not be able to use my right hand anymore. It was like just a body part attached, hanging.
I lost my job due to the accident. For first 3 or 4 months I was with the plaster and stitches. It was a really difficult situation, one day I was just fine and the next day I had lost my right arm forever. I could not do anything with my right hand, and left hand was not that much habituated to do all the work. I had to take others help to do anything or go anywhere. The pain was so terrible that I couldn’t even sleep at night. I felt burning sensation like my hand is in the fire which continued for 5 to 6 months.
But I found my life much more difficult when they removed the stitches and I was left with the scars, I had to come back to normal when I did not feel normal myself. Things were the way they were before, but for me everything was changed. Doctors said there’s nothing they could do much about it anymore. I started taking physiotherapy daily but it didn’t give me the assurance of a remarkable difference. I was just sitting at my room alone all the day and thinking of what happened to me. I couldn’t ride bikes, couldn’t eat with the right hand, couldn’t write or hold anything, I was even afraid to get into a bus or travelling somewhere alone, if I would go to a crowded canteen I used to take my food and wait for a long time for somebody to get up, so that I can keep my plate and eat. This was my situation. But life will never stop, it will always go on and I should not lose hope. Then one day I thought I should try for some job because I was tired of thinking and getting frustrated. I tried in many companies but end of the day everybody told the same “You are not physically fit for the job”. In each and every step I heard only one thing “you are not good enough, you are not good enough, sorry you are not good enough”, and I started thinking, if one more person says “not good enough” I could fall through the edge of my life.
So many people put me down I couldn’t change my circumstance, I just couldn’t wake up one day and say “hey give me my arm back”. So many friends who used to be with me before, they didn’t even call, perhaps they thought if they called I would ask for help or money, if they were meeting all together they chose not to call me, because I would be a burden for them. That was the time I realized there’s something in our life that is out of our control, that we can’t change and have to live with it.
However, we all have a choice, either to give up or keep moving. That day I set my mind. I was not going to look back, it’s all up in my head and I need to keep my mind clear. I can either be angry for not having a functional right hand or be happy for the strength I have, so I held myself up and started loving my scars. I have started doing things that I loved, like listening to the rock music loud, going to the places I loved to be, walking in the rain and many more and believe me I found my happiness in those small things and I found the purpose. Whenever I go to the hospital I speak with people who have some kind of disability , I speak with the old men who just survived a heart attack, just to ask them how they feel, how they are doing today and somehow it gives me strength to take myself one step closer.
I started changing things, turning negative things into positivity. I used to go to the small shops to stand and eat, I tried to hold the bowl with my right hand and eat with another and several times it would spill because I didn’t have control on my right hand, people used to laugh at me but I didn’t stop going there and gradually it started improving, after 2 or 3 months I can eat without a spilling and people don’t even look at me anymore . I turned their laughter into to challenge myself; I turned my weakness into my strength and my helplessness into the power to walk alone. Today my shoulder, my elbow is working fine and wrist has started responding as well, today I am not afraid anymore to go out alone and do anything, although I am not “normal” yet but I can do what a normal person can. The doctors who told me earlier that I couldn’t do anything with my right hand, now have told me that probably I can hold a pen and write soon. I made a lot of new friends who will be with me and ready to help me anytime, and some friends are not my friends anymore, they became my family.
I believe “When you don’t know your limitations, you should go out and surprise yourself.” Positive thinking is an attitude. My life is still hard but people always see me with a smile, they don’t feel sorry for me anymore. If God is not doing any miracle to make your situation better, remember you can always be a miracle for somebody else. Life doesn’t have to be perfect all the time, but life is worth living. Thank you to all those people who were there with me.
This story of my life is to help all of you out there to realize :
- Anyone can go through unexpected turns in life.
- life is under your control.
- The general definition of ” Being Normal” does not need to be “your” definition of “Normal”, create your own definition for yourself. After all, it is your life.